Or at least that’s what the little voice inside my head keeps telling me. You know the one. The supposed voice of reason whose positive intention is to show you all of the possible outcomes of any given situation so you can stay safe and choose the best (and safest) course of action. My husband calls it the ‘what-if’ game. He says that I play it a lot. I can’t help it. With each thought that enters my head the little voice pipes up with a list of ‘what ifs’. It’s exhausting. My friend Sandi calls it the lizard brain but I’ve also heard it being called a gremlin or inner critic. Whatever the label, I’m sure you’ve all experienced it at one point or another in your life.
photo credit: JohnONolanEach and every time I sit down to write – be it a blog post, an article or marketing material – a little voice pipes up and says “I can’t write.” As if that weren’t bad enough, I actually believed it for many years of my life. Those 3 words would stop me dead in my tracks. Feeling defeated before I even started I would agree with that little voice and stop writing the moment the pen hit the paper. I’d quit out of sheer frustration. It just wasn’t worth the internal battle… until now.
I made the decision to push through the fear and listen to my heart instead of my head. I took a giant leap forward and started this blog, making a promise to the world that I will write. I declared this truth to my family, friends, clients and colleagues and agreed to share my personal journey towards pregnancy and motherhood… publicly and in writing. It’s scary but I’m committed. I’m giving myself permission to publish less than perfect posts, to write from the heart and to show up authentically (even if that means rocking the boat). I want to make this a fun and enjoyable experience!
I hope that you will join me on this journey of self discovery, personal development and preparation for pregnancy. I believe that somewhere, deep down inside of me is a writer. I just need to nurture and cultivate it’s growth.
Welcome! I'm Crystal Di Domizio, a holistic nutritionist, birth doula, prenatal wellness coach and Hypnobabies® Childbirth Educator in Vancouver, BC.
Great post!! We all have things we are afraid of and putting yourself out there and doing it anyway is a real inspiration.
Thanks for your support Genevieve!
The What If game can also be played in the positive direction; that’s what’s so great about it!
What if you are a writer? What if your writing makes a difference? What if it helps others? What if…this is part of your gift?
Sandi Amorim recently posted: If I Could Say Anything
Thanks for the reminder Sandi. Instead of trying to STOP playing the what-if game altogether I could definitely benefit from playing it in a positive way – imagine the possibilities!
Witnessing the shift within as it happens. Applauding your steps as you take them. I raise my hat for thee
Go on, Crystal …
Thanks Maz! I appreciate you being right by my side through all these periods of growth and transition!
I feel exactly the same, have had the same thoughts, have quit writing as a result. I don’t even make my blog public for fear of criticism.
Great post! I will be pondering it tonight.
Hi Tracy,
I recently discovered that a lot of people feel this way. I thought I was alone in my struggle. I’m working to overcome many fears by launching this blog, one of them being the same as yours… fear of criticism. I’ve now accepted the fact that not everyone is going to love me or the things that I write about and that’s okay! I’m going to write according to my own values and beliefs (even the unconventional ones) and see what happens. I can almost guarantee that the negative scenario that my mind has created won’t show up in real life.
I highly recommend the blog posts that I linked to above about the lizard brain and inner critic. They helped motivate me to launch this blog! Thanks for sharing Tracy.
Crystal – I’m always inspired when others push past the noise and step into their heart. Thanks for sharing. Contrats. And please keep it up – that’s some good writing, there. (found you through Sandi)
Leisa
Leisa LaDell recently posted: 55 lessons from a shy- scruffy- perfect pup about the power of words
Thanks for your support Leisa!
It’s nice to know that others feel this way – I’ve started a blog too, and I get nervous each time I press publish (sometimes with fear other times with excitement) – either way I guess heightening these emotions is heightening my experience of living!!
I was hoping this would resonate with some of my readers. Sounds like I’m not alone! There is such a fine line between fear and excitement. I’m enjoying the journey so far!
Hi Crystal, I can so relate! Trying to say what others want to hear is stopping me from saying what’s really in my heart. Like you I have lots of ideas and I need to start writing but as soon as I put pen to paper something happens. Well…nothing happens. So thanks for the inspiration! I look forward to sharing amazing thoughts and blogs with you and the rest of the world!
Hi Jane, thank you for your comment. It’s so nice to know that you’re not alone! This has been a long journey for me and I’m happy to have arrived in a place where I can now write. The more I write, the more I WANT to write, which is awesome! So get out there and live that juicy life!
i loved this so. i am in the thick of these feelings right now. feeling overwhelmed with starting to air my writing in public and all the self doubt that comes along. thank you for sharing this.
plus your blog is so beautiful!! im hoping to become a doula, once my girls are a little older and will return here often!!
Aww thank you for your kind words Latisha. I found you through Mommypotamus and I’m looking forward to exploring your blog! I love herbs
Can’t wait to connect with you more! Doula work is so amazing, I bet you’d love it!